An old friend
by python is good
Summary: Dib’s eighteen and is read to move away from the paranormal nonsense of his middle school days, a certain being from his past, however, has other ideas
1. Chapter 1

Title: An old "Friend"

Author: Python is good

Disclaimer: Invader Zim belongs to Jhonen Vasquez..naturally

Premise: Dib's eighteen and is read to move away from the paranormal nonsense of his middle school days, a certain being from his past, however, has other plans

Prologue

"And so, Agent DarkBooty, it is with a rather heavy heart that I resign from the Swollen Eyeball society, I hope you understand the circumstances." The bi-spectacled boy with jet-black, pointed hair declared as he stared at the shadowed, red-eyed figure on his computer screen.

"Indeed I do, Agent Mothman, I do hope that you'll keep in contact with us at least? We would like to know how your science career works out." The figure replied in a raspy, yet soft voice

"I certainly will sir, and thank you for your hospitality and friendly guidance during the years while I was a member"

"You're welcome, Mothman, and good luck"

"You too, sir" and with that, the screen turned morphed into the common image of buzzing television "snow". Dib rose from his chair and stretched his sore body and sighed as he peered under his bed at his old paranormal memorabilia: the dark suitcase, the various pictures of "mysterious creatures" scattered about, and the headphones he used to listen to any "feed-back" from the galaxy; ahhh, the days of when he was a paranoid schoolboy. He had just turned eighteen the other day and couldn't wait to be taken under his father's wing. He smiled as he thought of the possibilities of discovering new elements, creating new chemicals, and even finding cures for diseases! He couldn't wait!

_Goodbye Paranormal, Hello real science!_

End note: sorry if it's brief.. the astrix at the end represents Dib's thoughts.. yup.. the next chapter will feature what exactly happned to Darkbooty after the conversation, thus setting this exciting crime (well, sort of) thriller in motion! Huzzah!


	2. Chapter 2

a/n: sorry about the delay

Chapter 2

Roy Bergman turned from the computer and stretched his aching joints. "Damned arthritis" he muttered as he rose from his chair and went to get another cup of coffee. He was gonna miss that Dib. Such a good, smart kid. Suddenly, just as he was going back to his computer, there was a loud clang that caused him to leap off the ground and spill his coffee onto the ground. "What the hell?" he muttered as his eyes shifted around the room.

"Hello!" he then called as his voice echoed and bounced off the metal walls, "Anybody here? I'm armed you know." It was true; he had a tazer that he was given the first day on the job. He then saw two red eyes peering out at him from the darkened hallway.

"W-Who are you?" he stammered. "W-What are you?" he knew this was a damn stupid thing to do, what if the thing couldn't talk.

"You fool! Of course I can talk!" the creature hissed in a nasal tone.

"H-How did you know?"

The creature stepped forward into the light: he was a very human-like creature except that he had antennae and a large squarish head with green skin. His limbs were so tiny and fragile that even the weakest man alive could break them off.

"I used this," the creature replied in an arrogant manner as he held out some kind of wand-like contraption, "A brain scan of sorts that can read people's thoughts.. it works on anyone."

"What do you want?"

The creature laughed. "Why, what every alien wants to do; take over the world!"

"But why are you here?" Ray stammered with his back against the control panel counter.

"Ah, now we're getting somewhere. I request the use of your space plant. There are a few robots I'd like to launch."

"You can't use our base! It's off limits!" Ray squinted at the intruder.

"Wait a minute.. do I know you?" he asked in a rather blissfully ignorant tone, he didn't want it to come out that way.

"I think you do, You were an associate of that Dib-beast, yes?"

"No, I-I wasn't"

The creature chuckled sinisterly again. "Oh, I beg to differ."

And with a loud BZZTZT! And CRACK, Ray was laying on the ground, lifeless with blood trickling from a tiny opening in his skull.

Meanwhile, Jonathan Camp, one of the caretakers at the Crazyhead Ph.D Mental Hospital scanned the escaped patient's chamber who had fled only two hours before.

He took a slow drag of his cigarette and turned to his co-worker and friend, Martin Skaks or Marty for short and asked, " So, I don't see any clues, do you?"

"Naw, I called the private investigator and he said he'd stop by tomorrow."

" Well, I did here on the radio too that a janitor at NASA just got murdered, so who knows? Maybe the patient killed him."

A/n: sorry for the crappy ending.. and yes, I'm aware that NASA's based in Florida while Zim is in..somewhere else, just pretend this is some kinda local NASA affiliate.. I might give Gir a mention in here too..


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Dib at work and the Investigation

Dib muttered to himself as he pushed the cart of instruments into the scientists' lab. He didn't understand it. He thought he was going to be working alongside his father, learning how to make Carbon Monoxide or sulfur, not being an indentured servant!

"Dad," he asked when he passed by Professor Membrane's table," When will I get to work with you?"

"Why, once you learn about the ins and outs of chemicals and mixing them, of course!" The disturbingly enthusiastic chemist replied, not really noticing the annoyed look on his son's face. He then demanded, "Give me a thermometer, son"

Dib sighed and handed to him. He then continued on, shaking his head.

Meanwhile, at Crazyhead, private detective Scott Chowley looked at his notes and compared the finger prints on the wand-like weapon or "wand" as they called it and the prints on the broken strait jacket.

"Yep, they seem to match. But hang on" Detective Chowley suddenly said, squinting at the prints on the jacket.

"What!" Marty and Jon asked anxiously in unison.

"On closer inspection, these seem to be a different set of prints!", he then turned to them, "Tell me, did either of you hear more than one set of footsteps or anything of the sort?"

"No," Marty piped up, "I heard a clang, but that was about it."

"Hmm, I may go to NASA again and see if there's anything else. Nelson is there searching as well. You two stay here and please report anything suspicious to me on these walkie-talkies." Chowley concluded gesturing to their shirt pockets; these were small, but functional versions that the FBI usually used if they were undercover.

Jonathan and Marty nodded as Chowley exited their office and flew off down the hall.

Zim felt good, damn good. He even felt somewhat aroused when he heard his car engine purr as he began another fun-filled day of terrorism. He was nearly ready to conquer the planet: the robots were in order, the police and detectives were thrown off trail. He snickered as he thought of the police and investigators frantically running back and forth from the NASA port to the mental asylum to identify the prints. Now all he had to do was bomb the laboratory where Dib was working at and hopefully murder him in the process. A thought suddenly sprung to his head: what about that Gaz female? Surely she' d try to save her brother and father? No, she wouldn't; she just didn't care! He couldn't help, but laugh out loud this time, he was so, so lucky. This would be a peace of cake.


	4. Chapter 4

a/n: I'd like to thank Vh1's 100 most shocking moments in rock n roll for providing the information on symptoms a person has from a lighting strike

Chapter 4: The Deed

Zim slammed on the breaks just in time to pull up in front of the laboratory. He grinned to himself, excited at the thought of finally getting Dib once and for all. He shut his eyes and imagined his body sprawling on the concrete, severely burnt from the destruction. Oh, how he loved it.

He then went to the trunk of his car and pulled out the timer and explosive canisters, ready to go to work.

Meanwhile, at the NASA station, Detective Chowley was inspecting the bloodied, pale body of one Roy Bergman, who was the janitor there, with two forensic workers.

"Chowley," one finally began, "it seems that this man was struck by some form of electricity that was as powerful as lightning."

"How so?"

b

"Well, when a person is struck by lighting, their skin gets quite pale and blood pours from their mouth."

"But this man has a bloody head." Chowley remarked looking at the corpse.

"Well, that just means that the electronic device struck his head," The other chimed in, "Look here," The worker then preceded to take his glove covered hands and lifted the man's head. There were indeed blood stains around the mouth.

"So he died by electrocution."

"Exactly," the other worker replied as he helped his partner discard of the body in a yellow bio-hazard bag, "now all we need to do is dust for fingerprints and compare them with those at the hospital."

At the lab, it was lunchtime and as Dib sat by the window, sipping his water, he saw a familiar figure walk towards the building in the distance. The figure seemed to be carrying stray wires and little bits of machinery. Upon closer inspection, he saw that it had green skin and a black, Elvis-like hairdo. Could it be? No! it had to be someone else..

"Zim?" he gasped in horror. His stomach did a summersault as he realized what Zim was holding in his arms: the ingredients to a bomb.

"Oh my god," he gasped and then raced over to table where his father was sitting and announced with a trembling voice, "Dad, there's something you should know."


	5. Chapter 5

a/n: Sorry for the long wait everybody! And apologies to System of A Down for using a song lyric of theirs. This chapter probably isn't very good, but I though it just had to be updated.

Chapter 5: Every time you drop a bomb…

Zim clenched his eyes tightly as he sat in his car three blocks away from the scientific institute; just waiting for that glorious boom. There were only ten seconds to go before the explosion.

"six.. five..four." he hissed with pleasure.

And then… nothing

"What!" he whispered in shock as his eyes shot open and he stepped on the gas and sped to the institute which was actually a big mistake on his part. He stopped the car in front of the building; there was a bomb detonator, five police cars, and an S.W.A.T. team guarding the scientists and from the corner of his eye he could clearly see that Dib was informing an officer about everything he saw! 'Drat!' Zim thought 'I should've gone around the building!' "FUCK!" he cried to the heavens and then laid face down on the horn.

"So, you knew the attempted bomber?" Detective Chowley asked as he jotted something down on his notepad.

"Yes," Dib explained, "We attended school together and were pretty much bitter enemies. I thought he was an alien and he probably is, but I'm not taking any chances."

Chowley raised an eyebrow, "Right." He muttered in a quizzical, yet nervous tone.

Suddenly, there was a loud, obnoxious beep and everyone at the site turned their heads to see that it come from a rusty van painted an ugly hue shade of blue. Dib suddenly remember that this was the van he caught a glimpse at when he saw Zim coming into the building

" Detective Chowley," he then announced, "I think you have the culprit right on target."

Zim held his breath as he shifted gears and drove away from the scene as quickly as his air-losing tires could carry him and then, he saw the S.W.A.T. team vehicle right behind him.

-again, sorry for this being kind of poorly written..I've been busy all week, but I couldn't leave this lil old story of mine hanging..


	6. Chapter 6

a/n: Playboy belongs to Hugh Heffner, and the spelling errors on the letter are intentional (Zim wrote it, he's a bad speller)

Chapter 6: The e-mail

Luckily, Dib and his father got home safely only to find a very angry Gaz sitting on the couch waiting for them.

"Where were you!" she cried.

Dib sighed angrily. "I told you, we were at the laboratory! We only got held up because there was a bomb. You didn't want us to die, did you?"

"Well," Gaz mumbled, "not dad, but for you, I'd make an exception."

"Gaz!" Membrane scolded as he started to descend the stairs to his work area in the basement.

"Sorry dad," she grunted.

Dib gritted his teeth in annoyance. "I'll be in my room. Don't disturb me until 2:30. I have a lot of work to do."

Gaz smirked. "that doesn't include looking at Playboy magazines, does it?"

"Shut up!" Dib cried as he slammed the door.

His computer was currently on "sleep" mode as he jiggled the mouse to wake it and then saw that he had one e-mail message. This wasn't unusual for him because he had read all the ones from his friends already, yet the message itself was odd. The heading read: Addressed to Agent Mothman. He opened it up to what looked like an official letter from the Swollen Eyeball, that is, until he read it.

_Dear Agent Mothman,_

_Wonder why that laboratory was bombed? Why Agent Darkbooty committed suicide? It's because you left us! You left us for that monstrousity field known as "real science"! If u don't want us to track you down, return to us, you traitor!_

_Sincerelly,_

_Anonymous _

Dib rolled his eyes, knowing Zim wrote the letter and that he wouldn't really track him down: not if he could help it. He couldn't have been more wrong


	7. Chapter 7

A/n: sorry for the delay, folks, honestly

Chapter 7: The Anti-Climatic Climax

Dib woke to the sound of someone roaming around in their living room. Figuring that it was either Gaz or dad heading to the kitchen, he fell back asleep for another half hour until he felt someone shake him. He slowly stirred and rolled over to see his very haggered and sleepy sister with an irritated expression.

"You're stupid green friend is out in the living room ranting about destroying you, you should get rid of him." she muttered

"Why can't you-what!" Dib cried as he shot up and threw off his covers. He hopped off the bed and pointed an accusing finger at Gaz. "Why didn't you tell me earlier!"

Gaz rolled her eyes. "Because I was asleep, stupid!"

Dib groaned in anger as he marched towards the door and threw it open only to find Zim in his human form standing on the coffee table and laughing manically.

"Oh Jesus," he muttered as he stared at the ugly sight and went to summon the police. He then heard Zim hiss and lunge at him in an attempt to pull him down, but Dib was quicker and slid into the kitchen, grabbing the side of the doorway for balance. He then grabbed the phone and dialed quickly as he suddenly heard Zim rise from the floor with a grunt.

"Hello, is the Sacramento police department , how may we help you?"

"Hello, I'd like to report a break in at 25th and Lane." Dib reported quickly without stopping to breathe.

"We'll be right over."

Dib hung up and looked around for something to weaken Zim with in order for the police to arrest him. He then remembered that he was allergic to earth food! He then threw open the gritty fridge door and grabbed a slab of meat. Then, with a wailing battle cry, Dib raced into the living room and slapped the steak onto Zim's sickly green skin.

"GAHHHHHHHHHH! You stupid earth monkey! My plan is ruined!" the alien screeched as Dib grinned triumphantly at an angry Gaz and his father who looked extremely puzzled.

"Hah! Zim can't escape em now!" Dib laughed, his momentary joy quickly after he saw his family's reaction. He then cleared his throat and stared at the floor, trying to look casual for the cops.

In the end, the police came a few minutes later and dragged a passed out Zim into the paddy wagon as Dib's dazed family watched it zoom into the night. They were tired, apathetic, but grateful that the terror was over. Or was it?

THE END?


End file.
